Found: 24-Year-Old Letter From My Mom

Most of you know that my mother (my biological grandmother) passed away in 2004 after a long battle with lung cancer. My sons were only 8 months old.

Most of you also know that my papa (my biological grandfather) died on April 20 of this year. One thing is certain…you never know what it’s like to be alone in the world until both of your parents are gone.

I was looking through the family Bible my mother always kept, when out fell a letter dated April 28, 1986. It was written more than 24 years ago and started off as simply, “To my grown up sons and daughter”.

I stared at the yellowed piece of lined notebook paper for a long time, daring myself to read it.

I took a deep breath and read:

“My hands were busy through the day.

I didn’t have much time to play

the little games you asked me to.

I didn’t have much time for you.

I’d wash your clothes; I’d sew and cook,

but when you’d bring your picture book

and ask me please to share your fun,

I’d say, “A little later son.”

I’d tuck you in all safe at night

and hear your prayers, turn out the light;

then tip toe softly to the door.

I wish I’d stayed a minute more.

For life is short, the years rush past,

a little boy grows up so fast.

No longer is he at my side,

his precious secrets to confide.

The picture books are put away.

There are no longer games to play.

No good night kiss, no prayer to hear…

that all belongs to yesteryear.

My hands, once so busy, now are still.

The days are long and hard to fill.

I wish I could go back and do

the little things you asked me to.

I couldn’t go back so I’ll pass this on so you’ll know before it’s too late.

When Kimberly came to us, I was more grown up. I said I would take time to spend with her. We shared so much because I made the time. I have thanked God eveyday for another chance to be a better mother. I tried very hard to be there for her for everything she chose to do. Maybe I finally made it as a good mom.

It was signed simply, “I love you all very much, Mother.”

I don’t know if she wrote that poem or if she copied it from somewhere. I guess it really doesn’t matter now.

If she was here, this is what I’d say to her, “You were a good mother. You were because you were there for me. You took me in when no one else wanted me and gave me a very special place in your life and in your heart. You had raised three children and could’ve retired and had a life of ease, just the two of you. But instead, you sacrificed everything to start all over again and raise me. I’m so very grateful.

You and papa taught me how to be a lady, to work hard and to always tell the truth. Though you didn’t go to church, you sent me so that I’d learn about God. Those lessons have served me well.

Most of all, you taught me how to love and be loved. And that is the most precious gift of all. I miss the three of us. All my love, Kim”

Published in: on November 8, 2010 at 9:02 pm  Leave a Comment  

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